Emotional intelligence (or EQ) is one of the most important skills we can help kids develop from a young age. It’s all about recognizing, understanding, and managing their own emotions—and it also means understanding how others feel, too. Teaching this early on sets kids up for happier, healthier relationships and helps them manage challenges more smoothly.

For parents, guardians, and childcare providers, helping little ones build emotional intelligence isn’t just important—it’s a truly meaningful gift we can give them. Here are some simple ways to nurture this skill every day.

Modeling Healthy Emotions

Kids learn by watching us, so if we show healthy ways to express emotions, they’re more likely to do the same. Try being open about your own feelings in simple ways they can understand. For example, saying, “I’m feeling a little frustrated because I can’t find my keys, so I’m going to take a breath and think where they might be,” shows them that it’s okay to feel things—and that there are ways to handle those feelings.

Give Emotions a Name

One of the best ways to help kids handle emotions is by giving them the words to explain what they feel. Start with the basics—like “happy,” “sad,” “mad,” and “scared”—then add in some new ones over time like “excited,” “frustrated,” or “disappointed.”

When kids know how to name what they’re feeling, it makes it so much easier for them to talk about it instead of acting it out.

Teach Them to Notice Other People’s Feelings

Helping kids understand emotions in others is a big step toward building empathy. Storytime can be a great way to do this. Ask questions like, “How do you think that character feels right now?” or “What do you think made her feel that way?” This gets them thinking about what other people are feeling, and they start building a sense of empathy.

Encourage Problem-Solving

When kids face a challenge, help them figure it out instead of jumping in with the answer. For instance, if they’re upset about sharing a toy, ask, “What do you think we could do to make it fair?” Giving them the chance to come up with ideas and solutions boosts their confidence and helps them manage their emotions better, too.

Validate Their Feelings

When kids know they’re heard, they feel safer expressing themselves. If your child is sad to leave a friend’s house, you could say, “I know you’re really sad to leave—it’s hard when you’re having so much fun.”

Just letting them know their feelings are okay (without needing to “fix” it) helps them feel secure in opening up. They don’t feel pressured to “hide” their emotions or move on too quickly.

Teach Simple Coping Skills

Big feelings are part of childhood—and adulthood too! Teaching kids simple ways to calm down can make a huge difference. Deep breathing exercises, like pretending to smell a flower (inhale) and blow out a candle (exhale), are easy and effective. Taking a little quiet time or even drawing can also help.

Teaching these techniques when they’re calm gives them tools they can use whenever they need to.

Use Play to Explore Emotions

Playing is a wonderful way for kids to explore emotions. Role-playing, using dolls, puppets, or even stuffed animals, can help them express their feelings in a safe way. When kids pretend to be someone else or act out a situation, they start to understand and manage their emotions better.

You can make this fun by playing “grocery store” or “school” games, where they get to act out different scenarios. It’s a great way for them to practice patience, empathy, and cooperation.

Teach Self-Regulation Techniques

Self-regulation is just learning how to manage their own behavior and emotions. Simple mindfulness activities can help—like breathing exercises, or even short moments of focusing on sounds or noticing how their body feels.

Having a routine and clear limits is also important. Kids feel more secure when they know what’s coming next, which makes it easier for them to handle their emotions.

Praise Effort, Not Just Success

Learning how to deal with emotions is hard work, and kids are bound to have ups and downs. Instead of only praising the “success” (like calming down), try focusing on the effort. Saying, “I noticed you took a deep breath when you felt upset. That’s a good way to help yourself,” shows them that trying is what matters.

Celebrating the effort helps them feel encouraged even when things don’t go perfectly.

Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment

Building emotional intelligence in young children is something that takes time, patience, and encouragement. By creating an environment where kids feel safe to express themselves and learn how to manage emotions, we’re helping them grow into resilient, compassionate people.

Remember, kids are learning every day, and we don’t need to rush it. If we’re gentle and supportive along the way, they’ll gain the skills they need at their own pace. By helping them build emotional intelligence, we’re setting them up to handle life’s ups and downs, form positive relationships, and make a meaningful difference in their world.

Our kids may be little, but they’re already capable of so much empathy, kindness, and understanding. All we need to do is guide them with love.